my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
