I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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