okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
