yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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