She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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