You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
