I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
