We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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