She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
