my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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