you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
