Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
