idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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