Umm I'm too high to move.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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