I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've blown a few things in my day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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