you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
