I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
