so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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