Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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