i just had sex bonerless
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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