Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
