remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
