I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
