There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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