i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
