I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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