I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
