Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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