In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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