i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize