So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
