When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
