The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
