i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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