And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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