He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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