Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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