if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
