Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
