I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
