she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
