I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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