I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
