They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
