hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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