Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
