We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
