I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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