It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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