remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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