Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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