so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Randomize
