I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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