now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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