This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want nice things and good sex
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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