I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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