I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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