I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
