You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
