There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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