So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize