I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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