I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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