Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
